Way before I was born, the groundwork was laid for who I would be as an adult. My maternal grandmother married a Roman Catholic priest and, in that time and in that part of the world (Eastern Europe), that was a very offensive act. Stones were thrown at my grandparents as they attempted to run away to be married. Only God knows the extent of their love and devotion to one another. These same grandparents gave birth to my mother, who was intelligent, creative, and assertive. Those same qualties have been handed down to me; however, I sometimes believe, the creativity part is the only one that shines in my life journey. Religion is not a Sunday or Saturday thing for me. It is my culture. It is my life and as I grow older and my children leave for spouses and I am left to go to church alone, I begin to search for my new station in life. I go to Mass alone. I feel very isolated and wonder if others feel the same. My grandchildren to date are not being raised Catholic, so those wonderful traditions have ended temporarily. There are other children coming and I have no idea what their traditions may embrace - perhaps the Catholic tradition; perhaps not....The whole point of this essay is to establish that for me to change my religion would be the same as for me to suddenly become Native American. It is something I was born with - I cannot change it. I have tried and it didn't work....So now I must begin to nurture those parts in me that want to hibernate and ignore the world....
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