Adults Model Bullying - Wonder Why Kids Pick It Up!


The third grade classroom is quiet as I begin playing the CD of Pete Seeger's song "Don't Laugh at Me." After we listen to the song, I read the words and show the students the pictures. Deep breath. How many of YOU have ever had someone make fun of you? A few hands are up and then as the children begin to look around, more hands go up. I put my own hand up as well. Yes, most of us have been laughed at. And, when does it hurt? Every time? A little boy offers, When it's someone you don't know a lot. That's it in a nutshell. I breathe in and exhale slowly and remember my own son in middle school as he shouted out the window of the car to a friend, Hey, you suck! At the time I was mortified and shocked, but the kid replied in kind and we went our  merry way. I asked my son why he was being so mean and he looked at me incredulously.

How many of YOU have ever had someone make fun of you? A few hands are up and then as the children begin to look around, more hands go up. I put my own hand up as well. Yes, most of us have been laughed at. And, when does it hurt? Every time? A little boy offers, When it's someone you don't know a lot. That's it in a nutshell. I breathe in and exhale slowly and remember my own son in middle school as he shouted out the window of the car to a friend, Hey, you suck! At the time I was mortified and shocked, but the kid replied in kind and we went our  merry way. I asked my son why he was being so mean and he looked at me incredulously. Flash forward to the present. Another son has a very large friend he always calls Fat. And his friend calls him some other name. This is the way some friends tease one another, but what if that spills over into other relationships? It doesn't feel so good when someone makes fun of you if you are not sure that person loves or even likes you. Emotions are a motley bunch and sometimes, if in doubt, don't! Back in that elementary classroom, I ask the inevitable question, Have you ever laughed at someone else? Did that person like your teasing? Again, a few hands went up and the discussion progressed to when is it teasing and when is it bullying....and we came up with a few good rules for creating a better world.
"Don't Laugh at Me." After we listen to the song, I read the words and show the students the pictures. Deep breath.
  • We are all different. Some may respond with laughter and others may cower in pain. So, if you don't know the person well, STOP.
  • You can't control everyone else. Just worry about yourself. If someone is being mean, tell a grown up.
  • When someone is being mean, don't give them an audience.
  • If you are hurt by someone, sometimes it's best to just go away and ignore that person. Don't give them a victim.
This week is Halloween and the children have other things on their minds, so I ask them to draw what they are thinking of and most drew mermaids, ghosts, and some drew football pictures. Did the lesson sink in or pass them by? Only time will tell. But as they are quietly drawing what is in their hearts at this moment, a few ask to listen to the song again and again. We didn't have a chance to say if they could identify where they have heard teasing and bullying - adults they are around? For today this is enough. We have begun a dialogue.

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